I read about this movie like two months ago and had to clean the shit out of my boxer briefs after I read who is in the cast. I’m not going to say much about it because it pretty much speaks for itself. Before I go on though watch the trailer which came out like a week ago and has over a million hits (Like Ricky Martin, except with 2 hits). I’m warning you, this trailer might punch your face in. So wear a mouthpiece and lock the door like you do when you jerk off to the sound of your neighbor taking a shower.
So how do you feel now? I feel like a I just got anal fisted by a gorilla on steroids. And he is giving me a thumbs up every time he penetrates. Its that good.
So just to make sure we are on the same page here, lets go through the cast to make sure that this WILL be the best movie ever made:
1. Danny Trejo
3. Bruce Willis
9.Jet Li
10. Jason Statham
There are others listed in the cast but I can guarantee that they get murdered in the movie because no one cares about them.
I don’t even know if I could go watch this movie right now if it came out today. I think I would feel like a worthless piece of shit afterwards. That is why I’m going to do nothing but eat raw chicken and go to the gym everyday. And while your doing palates with your gf, I’m going to P90X myself naked while this trailer plays over and over (Not in front of the Jr. High this time though). I’m so pumped for this movie that if it didn’t conflict with my P90x’ing, I would take 5 Tylenol PM’s every time I woke up until the day it comes out that way I could just dream about it until I watch it in the theater.
I have to give this trailer a 9/10 boners which is almost the highest rating I could give anything. It is missing one boner because I didn’t see Jesse “The Body” Ventura or Chuck “I fought Bruce Lee” Norris in the credits. I heard someone say that Chuck was in the movie, its just that he is so fast you cant see him. That person soon died from invisible strangulation.
What do you guys think of this trailer?
